College Freshmen Leaving for College: How a Parent Can Help
College Freshmen Leaving for College: How a Parent Can Help
It’s tough for parents dropping that first kid off at college. It’s even tougher the when we drop that second kid at their dorm- because we remember how hard it was leaving that first kid on their own!
This is one of the crucial times in parents’ lives! We have to let our kids grow up…and we have to let go…AND we still have to be available. How, how, how can we do it?
Here are 9 tips I’ve learned as a mom and a coach about college freshmen leaving for college: how a parent can help.
3 tips for discussions with our freshmen before leaving for college:
- Discuss their goals. Your young persons might forget they can’t succeed without goals. Without goals any human will loose time and motivation and be easily sidetracked.
- Discuss your expectations. If you are paying for college, you have a voice (but not control).
- Pray.
3 tips for dropping college freshmen off at the dorm:
- Accompany them to their dorm room, help carry their stuff in, act excited about how cool it will look when they get everything arranged.
- Leave…as in, go home. Don’t linger, try not to cry, don’t make a fuss. You want to leave your freshmen feeling like you have all the confidence in the world in them.
- Get in the car and cry all the way home if you want. THAT’S okay…then PRAY.
3 tips for handling your college freshmen’s first semester:
- Don’t call them every day. Really. Don’t. Give them space to grow. If you are their best friend, they might not make new ones- which isn’t cool.
- Don’t be a helicopter parent. Be available if they have questions but don’t do their work or their advocating for them. This is hard because you could handle their glitches or concerns so much more quickly and efficiently…but then your freshman is robbed of the chance to learn vital life skills.
- Let them make their own mistakes…unless you suspect self-harm, addiction, complete lostness. Then you step in and help them connect to resources and safety. Otherwise, some stupid mistakes make unforgettable learning experiences. (The only way to handle this tip is to place your freshmen in God’s care, in other words: PRAY.)
It actually does take a lot of prayer (and support) to let your teens become a fully-alive college freshmen! It’s worth the investment. Walk through this life transition with support: contact me at VickiTillmanCoaching.com.