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Life transitions
Leave a Trail
Leave a trail
20-Something World Implosion: How to Un-implode!
What is 20-something world implosion? How to un-implode it?
20-Something World Implosion: How to Un-implode!
20-Somethings are some of my favorite coachees. Here’s something I’ve noticed with many of you:
Your world implodes in the 2 years after college!
What is *world implosion*?
When you’re in college there’s a lot of life happening organically. You naturally know people from classes, dorms, organizations and activities. You develop GREAT friendships. Often, you find a significant other. And you really didn’t have to work that hard at making these relationships. They happen because of proximity: you are simply around each other. Proximity gives you a world, a life!
Then graduation happens… and people get real jobs, real careers, in really far-away places. Very often the wonderful peer-group of college days spreads out all over America.
What happens next is you are going to work, coming home, maybe stopping at the gym on the way home. Then the next day you are going to work, coming home, maybe stopping at the gym on the way home.
Before you know it, it feels like you DON’T have a world, and WHAT’S a life?
Sound familiar? Well then: 20-Something world implosion…how to un-implode?
Here are 3 steps to un-implode your world:
- Get out of denial. You aren’t going to get a life the way you got a life in college. Life usually doesn’t happen like that once you’re in the workforce.
- Face the need to get busy. I know you’re tired, but you’re going to have to get busy anyway- doing NEW things.
- Start exploring. Find a new thing to do each week. Look online. Local online news sources or meet-ups often list open activities of community organizations. Find a group that is doing something interesting or useful (running or hiking groups, book clubs, Habitat for Humanity, churches- things like that). Plan on visiting 2 groups a month until you find your thing(s).
- Visit the first time, use your social skills. Download the FREEBIE Confidence-Building Skills for Meeting New People for tips on breaking into a new group. Remember, when you’re the newbie in a group, the group has to prove itself to you (*Are they friendly?*) not you proving yourself to the group (NOT: *Are you interesting?*).
- Keep exploring. Eventually you will land on a group that is so much fun and so friendly that you’ll keep going back. Those people will become your new peer group.
- As you keep the adventure going, your world will become bigger– not in the same way it happened in college. When you’re 20-Something world un-implosion won’t really be organic; it must be intentional!
One thing that really helps when you’re un-imploding your world is to know yourself well and feel comfortable with who you are. The best way to do this is to work with a life transition coach. Contact me today to get started on the adventure of un-imploding your world!
20-Something World Implosion: How to Un-implode!
You Can Start Late…
You Can Start Late…
Why Your Life Feels Miserable Right Now
Sometimes life sucks. Maybe one of these is why your life feels miserable right now?
Why Your Life Feels Miserable Right Now
Does your life feel miserable right now? That feeling is there to tell you something’s wrong. Some things need to be fixed or some things simply must be survived (but not survived alone).
Here are 7 things that may be going wrong if your life is feeling miserable right now:
1- Too much bad stuff going on right now. I’m not trivializing pain here. Sometimes a person feels miserable because of grief, illness, pain or loss. Those things are real and cannot be ignored. If your life feels miserable because too much bad stuff is going on let your friends know; let your church know.
Talk about what is going on- don’t bear it alone! Find someone to pray with you daily. If friends want to know how to help, here’s a freebie my friend, Marilyn Groop, wrote that shares practical ideas. Sometimes having a counselor to talk to helps, too (that’s because there is power in talking to someone from outside your circle of friends and family.)
2- Too much stress going on right now. Sometimes you feel miserable because there are too many stressful things going on: taxes, bills, car repairs, cranky colleagues, overtime at work. Maybe you’re overbooked because you can’t say, “NO!” Maybe you’re stretched too thin because it’s a phase of life that just happens (like motherhood…).
Ask yourself: What can I control and reduce right now? Do a time audit to help you think about it. Take a financial literacy course.
Or ask yourself: What must I simply ride out? Increase your self-care to give you strength (learn Progressive Relaxation or Ignatian Examen to help feel more calm).
3- Too much forced change going on right now. Sometimes you feel miserable when there is forced change. Job losses, moves, family changes…even graduations can feel miserable a few days later when you realize that life will be forever different. You didn’t ask for this stuff!
Forced change is a journey you must go through. As Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Life Transitions Coaching helps turn the trial into an adventure.
4- Too much self-centeredness going on right now. One thing I’ve learned over the years as a coach and a counselor is that people cannot be happy if personal happiness is all they want. “I just want to be happy!” is usually code for “I just want to have a bunch of stuff, lots of leisure and everyone to do things my way!” But when folks who say that get what they think they need for happiness, they find out they are still miserable.
What you need to be happy is to do good deeds! Research shows that doing good deeds or acts of kindness actually increase a person’s feeling of happiness.
Confused? That’s ok. The adventure of giving into others is inside you and Life Transition Coaching will help you launch on your journey to true happiness.
Start by shaking up your self-centeredness with a journey of exploring your own Personal Mission Statement.
5- Too many toxic people going on right now. Sometimes people in your life change. They used to be kind but then they become bitter or critical. Maybe they are going through tough stuff and they handle it poorly, maybe it’s PMS. Whatever the reason, long-term toxicity isn’t cool.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do with a toxic person is set some distance between you two and work on your own health. Here again, Life Transition Coaching is there to help you on the journey towards personal health.
6- Too much time stuck in the wrong SEAT of the bus going on right now. Sometimes you feel miserable if you are in the wrong job. Jim Collins in Good to Great, challenges people to find the right “seat on the bus”- get in the best fit career for you. That’s what Career Coaching is all about: helping you find the right seat on the bus!
Get started on your new adventure with a quick personal journey of Career Exploration with this workbook.
7- Too much time stuck on the wrong BUS going on right now. Sometimes you feel miserable if you are working with the wrong corporation. Is your organization full of unethical, unkind people going an unhealthy direction?
Sometimes the only happy, healthy thing to do is hop off this bus and get back on track with a good bus going the right direction. That’s what Career Coaching is all about. Let’s take that great career, seek God’s direction and take the adventure of finding a better bus!
Life sometimes sucks, but there is support, encouragement, strength, too. Take good care of yourself and contact me when it is time for some coaching support.
Why Your Life Feels Miserable Right Now
It does not matter how great the pressure is
It does not matter how great the pressure is…
When pressure is telling you that God is working a change in your life, contact me for life coaching.
It does not matter how great the pressure is…
When Something’s Gotta Change
What do you do when something’s gotta change?
When Something’s Gotta Change
Ever wake up and know something’s gotta change? You’ve had enough of what’s going on. This is not the life you signed up for!
It is wise to listen to your heart. Is that something’s-gotta-change feeling the prompting of God to prepare for new things? Is it time for a new adventure?
If so, spend some time taking stock so that you are ready to launch when the moment arrives:
- Take a fresh look at who you are. Revisit a personality test like Myers-Briggs or StrengthsFinder 2.0.
- Review your experiences in work, family, friends and faith. What were pivotal moments and people?
- Write a fresh mission statement.
- Get some coaching. That’s what I’m here for- to help guide you through the journey of transition and help you hone your skills for the new adventures to come. We will work together to help you discover your who you were meant to be, dream big dreams, and develop skills to help those dreams come true.
It is also wise to listen with your head. Your heart may be saying: Something’s gotta change!!! But your logical brain is saying that there is no way for that to happen yet. If that is so:
- Use this time to pray. Ask God, is this a time that I must simply go through (God’s version of character development or waiting).
- Also gently work through the above steps so that you are ready when the time is right.
Coaching is a fruitful way to navigate any life transition period. Contact me today to get prepared for your journey.
When Something’s Gotta Change
Rules of Self-Discovery
Rules of Self-Discovery
You Are Never Too Old to Set Another Goal or Dream…
You are never too old
When you’re ready to set a new goal or dream a new dream. Contact me at VickiTillmanCoaching.com. We can work together to fulfill your goals and dreams.
You are never too old VickiTillmanCoaching.com
Humility is Thinking about Yourself Less
Humility is Thinking about Yourself Less
When you are ready for the journey of humble self-discovery, ready to truly know yourself and where you should be headed, contact me at VickiTillmanCoaching.com.