Vicki Tillman Coaching

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Life transitions

3 Steps for Getting Life Right All the Time

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Been wondering how to always be right? Here are 3 steps for getting life right all the time.

3 Steps for Getting Life Right All the Time VickiTillmanCoaching.com

3 Steps for Getting Life Right All the Time

“I just want to get it right!”

“If I can’t do it with excellence, I will wait until I can.”

“If I can’t figure out the RIGHT thing to do, I must be all wrong.”

I often hear statements like this from my clients. Like many people, they are sincere and just want to get life (career, relationships, stuff) right.

I love to share my 3 steps for getting life right!

Step 1

Beware of “Perfection Paralysis” (as one of my perfectionistic friends calls it)

While you shouldn’t make a life goal of doing a lousy job at everything, you become excellent at whatever you do by much practice. If you wait until you’re perfect, you won’t ever get started, much less arrive. Getting life right happens as you intentionally gain experience on journey.

Guiding principle: Anything worth doing is worth doing badly. GK Chesterton

Step 2

Beware of “The Arrival Myth”

You don’t arrive. I can remember being a young mother who was deluded by the thought that when I reached the ripe old age of 30, I will have arrived. I would have my stuff together, my family will be perfect, and I would be living a comfortable, steady-as-she-goes lifestyle.

In the 21st century, most people don’t get one career, one house, one set of interests and the settle down into comfortable mediocrity. Instead, the staples of life like career, living location, even church often shift many times.

Guiding Principle: Today, life isn’t a destination. As long as you are this side of heaven, you never arrive. If you surrender the Arrival Myth and make up your mind to enjoy the adventure that you are on, you won’t miss what God is doing in and through you.

Step 3

Live life “good enough”

So, really, you can’t get it right, right now and expect it to stick. You can’t do life perfectly but you can keep at it. You must simply do life “good enough”and learn to enjoy the process.

That doesn’t mean living lazily or sloppily, it just means that you can live life (career, relationships, stuff) remembering you are on the journey: there isn’t ONE place that you will land and then be “okay”, you must be “okay” where you are.

Guiding Principle: How do you do life “good enough”?

  • Be thankful for what you have.
  • Daily find moments of awe.
  • Take care of what you have gratefully (your body, your soul, your relationships, your stuff).
  • Handle your career faithfully and wisely, understanding that things will change. (Keep your LinkedIn updated and your resume sharp.)
  • Always keep learning.
  • Remember that service to others is foundational for success.

Okay, so there aren’t 3 steps for getting life right all the time. There are simply steps for living your journey well.

When you’re ready for coaching with a wise guide, contact me. We can talk in person, by phone or Skype and help you understand yourself/others and enjoy the fulfilling next steps in your life!

3 Steps for Getting Life Right All the Time

What is Career Coaching and Who Needs It?

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What is Career Coaching and who needs it?

What is Career Coaching and Who Needs It? VickiTillmanCoaching.com

What is Career Coaching and Who Needs It?

Career Coaching is the process of working with a coach to tweak career paths, identify new career paths, and develop the skills to succeed in both. Career Coaches like me work with people like you, who:

  • are ready to fulfill their dreams and potentials by launching into a new career field
  • are determined to achieve more in their current field
  • are anxious to get back to work after having been downsized, outsourced, job-eliminated
  • are feeling a bit nervous as they look for a second career after raising their kids
  • are pressured to choose a college major before graduating high school and want so help
  • are fed up with their organization and want to move to a meaningful career
  • are delighted to give back to their communities in their retirement years

The Career Coaching process looks different for each person. That’s because everyone has different needs and desires. We will discuss what you are looking for, then set goals for success in one or more of these areas:

  • Discovering talents, gifts, callings, inspirations

    Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults VickiTillmanCoaching.com

    Get started on your journey with the Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults.

  • Identifying dreams and desires for career and life
  • Create a personal mission statement and personal visioneering tools
  • Clarifying needs, assets and limitations- then ways to work within or overcome them
  • Choose great-fit career fields and/or college majors
  • Develop skills for the job hunt (resume, interview, recruiter, Linkedin and more)
  • Develop soft skills and communication skills for career growth
  • Maximize resources available for career search and development
  • Enhance personal growth skills that help manage work-place stress (mindfulness, self-care)

You can get started on the adventure by contacting me. We will work in person if you are local or via Skype or Google Hangout if you are not. Don’t delay your adventure. Contact Vicki today!

What is Career Coaching and Who Needs It?

How to be Content with Your Life and Still Reach for Your Dreams

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Dreams out of reach? Here’s how to be content with your life and still reach for your dreams.

How to be Content with Your Life and Still Reach for Your Dreams VickiTillmanCoaching.com

How to be Content with Your Life and Still Reach for Your Dreams

Disappointment is part of life. (If I could give God advice about this, I’d tell Him that we should skip this part- but He seems to think otherwise.) We can have dreams, we can feel like we’re on the right track and then everything stops…falls apart…whatever. Then it seems like our dreams are ripped away from us.

Disappointment. It’s real. But life goes on. How do we allow life to be good even when it has been “wrong”?

Practice contentment. (Notice I said, “practice”? It takes a LOT of practice. It is a life-long, ongoing PROCESS.) BUT don’t give up on your dreams. Here’s how to be content with your life and still reach for your dreams.

How to be content with the life you have now.

*Keep daily gratitude lists. This isn’t cheesy, really. We know that Scripture tells us to give thanks and to have a grateful spirit (Psalms 100, 138, 139 and more). Now there’s research about the power of gratitude. University of California has done great work on gratefulness. They’ve found that written gratitude lists help

  • promote healthy immune systems and blood pressure
  • decrease depression levels
  • and more!Progressive Relaxation VickiTillmanCoaching.com

*Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of “calm, non-judgmental awareness”. The American Psychological Association shares some benefits of mindfulness:

  • stress reduction
  • improved working memory
  • better focus
  • more stable moods
  • enhanced relationships

There are many mindfulness practices. Download the freebie instructions for two of my favorites mindfulness practices: Progressive Relaxation and Ignatian Examen.

*Notice the good stuff that is here now. No matter how much “stuff” we have, we need something else- but that kind of thinking makes us sick. When you notice what you DO have (and are grateful for it), the pressure to accumulate things reduces.Ignatian Examen How-to VickiTillmanCoaching.com

*Notice the good people that are here now. Your friends and family are what they are- none are perfect but hopefully most are good. Concentrate on the good people and the good things they do. If you need to download some toxic people, go for it.

*Notice the good events that are here now. Every day, something good happens. What is it?

*Self-care. You can’t be content and then respect your body and soul. It works the other way around. Treat your body and soul well and you will more easily find contentment.

*Find 5 good friends. I always tell my clients, “You become like the 5 people you hang around with, so get 5 good friends.”

How to be content with your life and still reach for your dreams:

Don’t forget your dreams. They are gifts from God.

*Remember that there is always something ahead and that you already have a dream about it inside you. It’s there, trust me.

Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults VickiTillmanCoaching.com

*If you’ve forgotten about your dreams, start over.

*Rediscover yourself. Who are you? If you’ve forgotten, some Career Exploration (which is simply self-knowledge development) helps. Have some fun:

*Create a vision board

*Set aside a few minutes each week to develop a skill that will help you in your dreamTrail Guide to Writing Your Personal Mission Statement VickiTillmanCoaching.com

You can have both: contentment with the present and dreams about the future. Hold onto both! Contact me when you are ready to recalibrate your life through coaching.

How to be Content with Your Life and Still Reach for Your Dreams

32 Easy Do’s and Don’ts to Power-up Your Resume

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Time to re-do that old resume? Here are 32 easy do’s and don’ts to power-up your resume.

32 Easy Do's and Don'ts to Power-up Your Resume VickiTillmanCoaching.com

32 Easy Do’s and Don’ts to Power-up Your Resume

My clients who are in job transitions often feel nervous about their resumes. Usually it’s not because they have nothing meaningful to put on the resume. Nope! They are stressed about the format, wording and details.

Here are 32 easy do’s and don’ts that I share with them:

Do:

  • Read the job description and adapt the resume to it, if possible. Use keywords that help the Applicant Tracking System (ATS) identify your resume as relevant for the job (job titles, skills related to the job, leadership qualities and other “soft skills”)
  • Proofread and then have someone else proofread
  • Glance over your finished resume and ask yourself, “Will it catch the hiring personnel’s attention within 6 seconds?”
  • Keep it to 1 page (adjust font size and spacing- but don’t make the font too small)
  • Use a simple, clean font (no fancy or goofy stuff)
  • Use single spacing
  • 1-inch margins
  • Send as PDF if emailing the resume
  • Include
    • Name
    • Contact Information- email, phone, snail mail address, website
    • Profile (This is your one-sentence elevator speech or branding statement.)
    • Skills/Areas of Expertise- include professional, technical and networking/soft skills
    • Experience- jobs and internships (If you don’t have much job history, include significant experiences such as missions trips, significant travel, or significant charitable work.)
          • Describe your jobs in terms of accomplishments, leadership, problems solved, challenges overcome, results and positive impact for the organization
          • Include numbers, if possible, such as “Increased sales by 50%” or “Reduced error rate by 20%”
          • Explain if there is significant time between jobs
          • Watch your grammar- keep verb tenses same
    • Awards
    • Education (and Professional Development, if applicable)

Don’t:

  • Create a fancier format of resume than the position warrants- an artist or graphic designer should present a wildly creative resume look, a lawyer should not
  • Use photos or icons if the job is not a creative position
  • Give an email address that is silly or difficult to copy or remember
  • Include Objectives (they went out of style)
  • Include Date of Birth (unless you want to)
  • Include high school name if you already have a college degree (unless you REALLY want to)
  • If you use bullet points, try not to include more than 5 bullets in a section
  • Use slang, contractions or abbreviations
  • Use the word “I”
  • Exaggerate

Try:

  • 2-column format (You can buy templates on Etsy if you need help.)

Power Vocabulary for Resume

Accomplished  

Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Get started on your career-change journey with the Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults.

Achieved

Analyzed

Arranged

Assisted

Collaborated

Communicated

Completed

Composed

Conducted

Contributed

Coordinated

Created

Directed

Demonstrated

Determined

Developed

Enhanced

Evaluated

Executed

Explored

Facilitated

Founded

Generated

Guided

Identified

Implemented

Improved

Increased

Influenced

Initiated

Leadership

Led

Maintained

Managed

Mentored

Networked

Obtained

Organized

Overhauled

Performance enhancement

Pioneered

Planned

Problem solving

Processed

Productivity enhancement

Programmed

Promoted

Reduced

Reformed

Repaired

Represented

Resolved

Spearheaded

Stimulated

Strengthened

Team building

Trained

Won

Now it is your turn! Get busy with your career change and your resume. Contact me for wise guidance on your adventure!

32 Easy Do’s and Don’ts to Power-up Your Resume

6 Steps of Career Change: More Than Dreams

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There are 6 steps to career change: more than just your dreams.

6 Steps to Career Change: More Than Just Your Dreams VickiTillmanCoaching.com

6 Steps to Career Change: More Than Just Your Dreams

Much of the career coaching that I do is with people who realize they need out of their current situation:

  • Their current corporation is being sold and they can see that the new organization will outsource their position
  • There are only lateral moves available within their current corporation
  • They get up every morning and HATE what they are doing
  • They know there is more inside them than the work they are doing now
  • They are worth more than they are being paid
  • They remembered they once had dreams…

When my coachees are ready to launch into the adventure of recreating their careers, we talk a LOT about dreams.

  • What did you use to love?Trail Guide to Writing Your Personal Mission Statement VickiTillmanCoaching.com
  • What do you love now?
  • Forgot?
  • Don’t know?

How about you? What are YOUR dreams?

If you can’t remember, get started on a fresh life journey. Remember, re-evaluate. Re-write your personal mission statement. That will help you remember who you are and why you’re here on earth. If you’ve never had one, take a day to yourself and do this workbook:

Now, you’re ready to adventure!

But career change is NOT just about your dreams. Here are other things to think about:

  1. What are your strengths?
  2. What are your masteries or most powerful experiences? (Either in work or out)
  3. What has God revealed to you through those experiences?
  4. What are your values (what is most important to you- money, relaxation, travel, family, etc)?
  5. Who is depending on you?
  6. What is your cause (what are you involved in that has transcendent – or goodness- value)?Vicki Tillman Coaching

Sound overwhelming?

You’re right. Career changes can be tough. It’s best not to do that journey alone. Take along an experienced guide- in other words, a Career Coach.

Contact me today to get started! We can journey through your career change in person, by email or via Skype.

6 Steps to Career Change: More Than Just Your Dreams

7 Do’s and Don’ts When You Lose a Job

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Here are 7 Do’s and Don’ts when you lose a job.

7 Do's and Don'ts When You Lose a Job VickiTillmanCoaching.com

7 Do’s and Don’ts When You Lose a Job

One of the joys of my work as Career Coach is helping my coachees recalibrate and launch the adventure of finding their NEW career. Here’s what I’ve found helpful for a quicker, more satisfying job-hunt journey.

The first couple of weeks after your last day at the old job are crucial. Remember these 7 Do’s and Don’ts when you lose a job:

Don’t berate yourself. There’s no time for that. If you made some serious errors, note what you need to learn, then set aside the negative self-talk. Self-blame or berating will shut your creative brain down and cause you to miss opportunities.

Do talk about losing your job as part of your journey, getting you closer to an awesome job. Keep your brain in the positive-thought zone.

Don’t dig out your old resume and cover letters and tell yourself they are good enough for career search. They were good enough for your LAST job. You will want an excellent resume to help land the NEW job!

Do jump into upgrading, tweaking, revamping, updating both the resume and a basic cover letter. Have them on your desktop ready to print on nice 24 lb paper.

Don’t sit at home watching reruns of The Walking Dead. It works against the successful job hunt to sit still- it shuts down momentum and makes it hard to start up the search.

Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Get started on your journey with the Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults.

Do get busy doing volunteer work. It is good for the soul and the community AND it fills in any blank places on the resume timeline that could occur if you were just home watching Netflix.

DO take time to recalibrate and renew your knowledge of yourself.

  • What did you gain and lose at your old job?
  • What would you like to see and do differently this time?
  • What do you really want and need to do with your life?
  • What is your personal mission?
  • What are your goals and values?

This is a good time to do some real Career Coaching. Contact me, we can work in person if you’re local OR over Skype if you are not driving distance.

Follow those 7 Do’s and Don’ts when you lose a job and you’ll find the transition to the new career goes so much better!

7 Do’s and Don’ts When You Lose a Job

What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me

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What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me.

What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me VickiTillmanCoaching.com

What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me

I’ve been talking to some retired homeschool moms lately. Those of us who are *Omega Moms* (who have graduated our youngest)- we are in a unique life transition.

We’ve dedicated our lives to raise and educate our kids. Homeschooling has been as much OUR identity as our kids’ identity.

Then the youngest graduates, goes off to college or into a career. Where are we now?

  • Some of us are already working moms, so we tweak and adapt our career.
  • Some of us are launching back into the workforce, reconstructing a resume after years of full-time motherhood.
  • Some of us will stay at home, helping the grandkids and working more in ministry.

What are some observations retired homeschool moms are making?

  • Our adult kids are defining themselves, governing themselves- even if we might run their lives differently than they are. Good thing we can stand out of the way and simply pray.
  • Our adult kids need to feel loved no matter what they do- but not rescued if they goof.
  • Our adult kids don’t need to live up to our expectations.
  • Our adult kids will never outgrow needing our availability or listening ear- but only on their terms, when they want it.
  • It may be moving-on time. Co-ops, umbrella schools, homeschool organizations may, just like our adult children, need to stretch their wings- independent of us.
  • Even if it is NOT moving-on time, it is DIFFERENT time. We become more like Titus 2 women in the Bible- the mentors for the next generation. Again, on their terms.
  • We want to be involved with something meaningful.Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults VickiTillmanCoaching.com
  • We want to have fun with our families when they can be around (and enjoy not needing to figure out how to log it in their portfolios).
  • In fact, it is VERY strange not logging hours or keeping papers for homeschool portfolios.
  • We don’t have to prove anything to anyone. YES!
  • We often want a mentor or another voice in our lives to help navigate this life transition. That’s what a life transition coach does: Acts as a guide through the adventure to the new things God is doing.
  • That’s also what a career coach does: Acts as a guide in many practical ways to help retired homeschool moms find meaningful employment.

When you’re ready to explore the next part of life’s journey contact me in the meantime, download these great resources to get you started:

A Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults

A Trail Guide to Personal Mission Statement WritingTrail Guide to Writing Your Personal Mission Statement VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Talk to you retired homeschool moms soon!

What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me

Before-College to At-College Transition: 10 Look-Like-a-Senior Skills

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Before-College to At-College Transition: 10 Look-Like-a-Senior Skills

College Skills VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Before-College to At-College Transition: 10 Look-Like-a-Senior Skills

This is move-in week for thousands of college freshmen around the country. It is also a fun time for us life coaches because we have the honor of boosting the confidence of students who are in the Before-College to At-College Transition. Here are 10 *look-like-a-senior skills* that I share with my freshmen coachees:

*Write down your goals and attach it to your closet door or something you’ll see every week. If you don’t write it and read it, you’ll forget it: Why are you in college? At THAT college? In THAT major?Confidence-Building Skills for Meeting New People VickiTillmanCoaching.com

*Download the freebie Meeting New People: Review it. These are skills you’ll need for the rest of your life.

*Leave your dorm room door open if you’re in the room. Easiest way in the world to make friends.

*If there’s a dorm or academic department activity do it (use your skills from Meeting New People). May sound stupid or boring- that’s not the point. The point is to network, meet people, make connections.

*Join a campus organization or activity during the first week at school. If you have an interest area, it is usually easy to find a group. If you don’t have an interest area, randomly pick some out until you find one that fits your personality. Again, the point is networking, meeting people, making connections.

*Make a class/study schedule (start out with planning 2 hours of study for each hour in class). For the first 2 weeks follow it, then you can adjust.

*Visit your professors during office hours (find something to ask or just tell them your mentor said to visit). This will benefit you in a gazillion ways. The teacher will know you give a flip. Opportunities might come your way.

*Volunteer in the departmental office. Just tell one of your profs or the departmental admin that you’d love to be a help: take out the trash, run errands, participate in research.

*Sit in the T-zone in class (first 2 or 3 rows or right down the middle). Believe me, it works.

*Take handwritten notes in class. There’s good research on the usefulness of handwritten classnotes for academic success.

*Type up your notes. I’ve heard this from students over the years. After class, type up your notes. It helps your brain digest and remember the information.

For more help with the Before-College to At-College Transition, contact me today!

Before-College to At-College Transition: 10 Look-Like-a-Senior Skills

College Freshmen Leaving for College: How a Parent Can Help

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College Freshmen Leaving for College: How a Parent Can Help

Freshmen leaving for college VickiTillmanCoaching.com

College Freshmen Leaving for College: How a Parent Can Help

It’s tough for parents dropping that first kid off at college. It’s even tougher the when we drop that second kid at their dorm- because we remember how hard it was leaving that first kid on their own!

This is one of the crucial times in parents’ lives! We have to let our kids grow up…and we have to let go…AND we still have to be available. How, how, how can we do it?

Here are 9 tips I’ve learned as a mom and a coach about college freshmen leaving for college: how a parent can help.

3 tips for discussions with our freshmen before leaving for college:

  • Discuss their goals. Your young persons might forget they can’t succeed without goals. Without goals any human will loose time and motivation and be easily sidetracked.
  • Discuss your expectations. If you are paying for college, you have a voice (but not control).
  • Pray.

3 tips for dropping college freshmen off at the dorm:

  • Accompany them to their dorm room, help carry their stuff in, act excited about how cool it will look when they get everything arranged.
  • Leave…as in, go home. Don’t linger, try not to cry, don’t make a fuss. You want to leave your freshmen feeling like you have all the confidence in the world in them.
  • Get in the car and cry all the way home if you want. THAT’S okay…then PRAY.

3 tips for handling your college freshmen’s first semester:

  • Don’t call them every day. Really. Don’t. Give them space to grow. If you are their best friend, they might not make new ones- which isn’t cool.
  • Don’t be a helicopter parent. Be available if they have questions but don’t do their work or their advocating for them. This is hard because you could handle their glitches or concerns so much more quickly and efficiently…but then your freshman is robbed of the chance to learn vital life skills.
  • Let them make their own mistakes…unless you suspect self-harm, addiction, complete lostness. Then you step in and help them connect to resources and safety. Otherwise, some stupid mistakes make unforgettable learning experiences. (The only way to handle this tip is to place your freshmen in God’s care, in other words: PRAY.) Ignatian Examen VickiTillmanCoaching.com

It actually does take a lot of prayer (and support) to let your teens become a fully-alive college freshmen! It’s worth the investment. Walk through this life transition with support: contact me at VickiTillmanCoaching.com.

College Freshmen Leaving for College: How a Parent Can Help