Ready to start the adventure of finding a partner? Here’s a healthy guide to finding a lifelong relationship.
Healthy Guide to Finding a Lifelong Relationship
One of my favorite things is coaching people when they are ready for the life transition from being single to finding a lifelong relationship. Whether a person is 25 or 52 the journey is similar- IF you want to be a healthy person finding a healthy relationship!
Here’s the things my coachees have sometimes learned the hard way:
- You won’t find that healthy person at the bars.
- You won’t find that healthy person constantly gaming online.
- You won’t find that healthy person already married to someone else. (Think about that one: You’re about to get involved with someone who isn’t able to remain faithful to relationships. Is that what you want?)
Here is a healthy guide to finding a lifelong relationship.
*Make an “absolute-musts” list. (Write down and memorize 5-10 must-haves in a person you’d be willing to spend your life with. If you don’t know what you need you’ll end up with someone who is not what you need.)
*Make a “no-chihuahua” rule for yourself. (Chihuahua’s are the people who rush in, bounce around in your face, giving and demanding attention but being SO charming and ubiquitous that you can’t see anyone else. The minute you marry a chihuahua, they know they have you- so they sit back and say “take care of me!”…and your life becomes awful!)
*Get involved. (Like I said, the person of your dreams is not at the bar and not gaming with every free minute. Healthy people are involved in the community. They volunteer, they are in interest groups, they are involved in church, are living life connected with people. AND they are looking for people who are involved and connected!)
*Don’t worry about making a good impression. (Put your efforts into using your listening and learning skills. If you show you are attentive and interested in the other person, you will be more impressive than if you were trying to be impressive. Does that make sense?)
*Loose the co-dependency. (If you need to rescue, fix or control, you’re going to create a disaster. This is a good time to work on life transitions coaching to help you develop healthy relationship skills.)
*Love yourself. (People are able to love you as much as you love yourself. No human can fill the void created by self-hatred.)
*Remove your walls. (How have you walled yourself off? Snarky conversation? Angry non-verbals- got a “resting bitch-face”? Significantly overweight? Addictions? Is it time for some coaching or counseling?)
*Start your journey by getting to know yourself again. Download the Trail Guide to Writing a Personal Mission Statement. Then contact me and we’ll get busy doing some enlightening, inspirational coaching to get your ready for a lifelong relationship.
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