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5 You-Can-Do-It Ways to Boost Your Confidence

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Here are 5 You-Can-Do-It ways to boost your confidence!

5 You-Can-Do-It Ways to Boost Your Confidence Build your confidence with these simple tips.

5 You-Can-Do-It Ways to Boost Your Confidence

Whether they understand *I lack confidence* or not, lots of people simply don’t believe in themselves. I have the joy of working with lots of people who mostly need a boost in confidence in order to start the adventure of becoming who they need to be.

Let’s talk about some ways to kick lacking-confidence in the butt… or how about: here are 5 YOU-CAN-DO-IT ways to boost your confidence.

Confront Your Lies

Everyone has lies they have learned over time.

  • I’m just that way…
  • I can’t…
  • I’m no good…
  • No one would want what I have to offer…
  • I’m not good enough for anything…
  • I could never…

What are your lies? The way you recognize a lie is to catch the *absolute negative* statements you make to yourself. It begins with *I* and ends with a self-criticism that leaves you feeling hopeless and shut down.

The first thing to do is recognize that the lie is there. Then, as an act of faith, confront the lie: HEY LIE, I’ve caught you and I’m going to retrain myself to stop listening to you and START finding the truth!

Self-talk the Truth

Once you’ve caught the lie, turn it 180 degrees around and that will most likely be the truth. Somewhere in his teachings (I totally forget where), C.S. Lewis explained the concept of *bifurcation*. Bifurcation is the concept of opposites: for every good and beautiful thing God creates in us, satan tries to come up with a negative lie that is pretty much opposite to lure us away.

As long as we are living in the bifurcation, we are looking at the opposite of what God has placed into us and planned for us.

Turn it around. Start talking to yourself about the truth. It helps to look in the mirror, make eye contact with yourself and say it out loud until you brain rewires itself.

  • I’m resilient and adaptable to new things…
  • I CAN…
  • I’m good enough to do whatever God gives me to do…
  • I will be a blessing…
  • I can do whatever I need to do…
  • I could try and I can succeed…

Do Something New

One of the best things that you can do for yourself is to go do something new.

  • find a MOOC and complete the whole thing

    Confidence-Building Skills for Meeting New People VickiTillmanCoaching.com

    Here’s one new thing to get started with: Confidence-building skills for meeting new people.

  • hike a new trail
  • take a painting class
  • visit a new town nearby
  • attend a world music concert
  • volunteer at a refugee center
  • write a government official about a cause
  • attend a retreat

It doesn’t matter what it is, it just need to be new. The physiological benefits of doing new things will help you feel more confident. The pride you feel in doing the new thing will boost your confidence.

Don’t be Ashamed of Your Weaknesses

We all have weaknesses. Everyone.

Let go of the shame. Then you can find workarounds for the weaknesses. Workaround are there when you look!

Lean into Your Strengths

Everyone has strengths. Lean into them. Develop them. You are responsible to grow your God-given strengths!

  • Take a MOOC or course at a local college
  • Read up and practice!
  • Get a coach and work on it!

This is what I’m all about: Coaching people for confidence boosting so that they can fulfill who they were created to be. You need this.

Contact me today to get started with the coaching process. I will work with you face to face or by phone or Skype.

5 You-Can-Do-It Ways to Boost Your Confidence

3 Ways to Beat 3 Kinds of Stress

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Want help? Here are 3 ways to beat 3 kinds of stress.

3 Ways to Beat 3 Kinds of Stress

Ever thought that there might be more than one kind of stress? Surprise! There are at least 3 kinds of stress (some folks even describe more than 3).

SO much stress! What can you do about it? Here are 3 ways to beat 3 kinds of stress:

Normal Life Stress: This is what we typically think about when we describe stress. Normal life stress is simply the feeling we get when:

  • There is too much to do and too little time or too few resources
  • No one is listening to you
  • Things feel out of control

What to do about normal life stress? Here are 3 ideas:

  • Make a to-do list and then cross off all the unrealistic items.
  • Tell yourself that you can do this! (calmly and repeatedly)
  • When no one is listening, then evaluate: Does the subject need to be dropped? Am I saying things over and over; or saying them too loudly? Are my listeners simply being unkind-should I talk to someone else?
  • Change the things you can change and let go of the things you can’tProgressive Relaxation

Eustress: This is the cool kind of stress we feel when we have a LOT of cool stuff happening all at once. We feel happy but our bodies recognize eustress as any other stress. Eustress causes the formation of stress hormones- like adrenaline and cortisol (fight or flight hormones). Manage those feelings with

Anxiety: Too much stress for too long can turn into anxiety. Anxiety can become a psychological issue if it goes on too long or is too intense with worry and physical discomfort. Before it gets out of hand, try these:

  • Get some counseling. Counseling is different from coaching. Counselors help heal the pain causing the anxiety.Confidence-Building Skills for Meeting New People VickiTillmanCoaching.com
  • Get some life coaching. Life coaching helps you reduce anxiety by rediscovering who you are, what dreams God gave you to dream, and find ways to develop the tools to make those dreams happen.
  • Tackle some of your fears- like meeting new people. Download this freebie.

Life coaching and Career Coaching help you recalibrate your goals and your self-understanding. Coaching is a great stress buster. For coaching with a coach who is expert, who is experienced, who is compassionate and who believes in you contact me today!

We will work in person at Pike Creek Psychological Center, by phone or Skype.

3 Ways to Beat 3 Kinds of Stress

How to be Content with Your Life and Still Reach for Your Dreams

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Dreams out of reach? Here’s how to be content with your life and still reach for your dreams.

How to be Content with Your Life and Still Reach for Your Dreams VickiTillmanCoaching.com

How to be Content with Your Life and Still Reach for Your Dreams

Disappointment is part of life. (If I could give God advice about this, I’d tell Him that we should skip this part- but He seems to think otherwise.) We can have dreams, we can feel like we’re on the right track and then everything stops…falls apart…whatever. Then it seems like our dreams are ripped away from us.

Disappointment. It’s real. But life goes on. How do we allow life to be good even when it has been “wrong”?

Practice contentment. (Notice I said, “practice”? It takes a LOT of practice. It is a life-long, ongoing PROCESS.) BUT don’t give up on your dreams. Here’s how to be content with your life and still reach for your dreams.

How to be content with the life you have now.

*Keep daily gratitude lists. This isn’t cheesy, really. We know that Scripture tells us to give thanks and to have a grateful spirit (Psalms 100, 138, 139 and more). Now there’s research about the power of gratitude. University of California has done great work on gratefulness. They’ve found that written gratitude lists help

  • promote healthy immune systems and blood pressure
  • decrease depression levels
  • and more!Progressive Relaxation VickiTillmanCoaching.com

*Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of “calm, non-judgmental awareness”. The American Psychological Association shares some benefits of mindfulness:

  • stress reduction
  • improved working memory
  • better focus
  • more stable moods
  • enhanced relationships

There are many mindfulness practices. Download the freebie instructions for two of my favorites mindfulness practices: Progressive Relaxation and Ignatian Examen.

*Notice the good stuff that is here now. No matter how much “stuff” we have, we need something else- but that kind of thinking makes us sick. When you notice what you DO have (and are grateful for it), the pressure to accumulate things reduces.Ignatian Examen How-to VickiTillmanCoaching.com

*Notice the good people that are here now. Your friends and family are what they are- none are perfect but hopefully most are good. Concentrate on the good people and the good things they do. If you need to download some toxic people, go for it.

*Notice the good events that are here now. Every day, something good happens. What is it?

*Self-care. You can’t be content and then respect your body and soul. It works the other way around. Treat your body and soul well and you will more easily find contentment.

*Find 5 good friends. I always tell my clients, “You become like the 5 people you hang around with, so get 5 good friends.”

How to be content with your life and still reach for your dreams:

Don’t forget your dreams. They are gifts from God.

*Remember that there is always something ahead and that you already have a dream about it inside you. It’s there, trust me.

Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults VickiTillmanCoaching.com

*If you’ve forgotten about your dreams, start over.

*Rediscover yourself. Who are you? If you’ve forgotten, some Career Exploration (which is simply self-knowledge development) helps. Have some fun:

*Create a vision board

*Set aside a few minutes each week to develop a skill that will help you in your dreamTrail Guide to Writing Your Personal Mission Statement VickiTillmanCoaching.com

You can have both: contentment with the present and dreams about the future. Hold onto both! Contact me when you are ready to recalibrate your life through coaching.

How to be Content with Your Life and Still Reach for Your Dreams

6 Steps of Career Change: More Than Dreams

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There are 6 steps to career change: more than just your dreams.

6 Steps to Career Change: More Than Just Your Dreams VickiTillmanCoaching.com

6 Steps to Career Change: More Than Just Your Dreams

Much of the career coaching that I do is with people who realize they need out of their current situation:

  • Their current corporation is being sold and they can see that the new organization will outsource their position
  • There are only lateral moves available within their current corporation
  • They get up every morning and HATE what they are doing
  • They know there is more inside them than the work they are doing now
  • They are worth more than they are being paid
  • They remembered they once had dreams…

When my coachees are ready to launch into the adventure of recreating their careers, we talk a LOT about dreams.

  • What did you use to love?Trail Guide to Writing Your Personal Mission Statement VickiTillmanCoaching.com
  • What do you love now?
  • Forgot?
  • Don’t know?

How about you? What are YOUR dreams?

If you can’t remember, get started on a fresh life journey. Remember, re-evaluate. Re-write your personal mission statement. That will help you remember who you are and why you’re here on earth. If you’ve never had one, take a day to yourself and do this workbook:

Now, you’re ready to adventure!

But career change is NOT just about your dreams. Here are other things to think about:

  1. What are your strengths?
  2. What are your masteries or most powerful experiences? (Either in work or out)
  3. What has God revealed to you through those experiences?
  4. What are your values (what is most important to you- money, relaxation, travel, family, etc)?
  5. Who is depending on you?
  6. What is your cause (what are you involved in that has transcendent – or goodness- value)?Vicki Tillman Coaching

Sound overwhelming?

You’re right. Career changes can be tough. It’s best not to do that journey alone. Take along an experienced guide- in other words, a Career Coach.

Contact me today to get started! We can journey through your career change in person, by email or via Skype.

6 Steps to Career Change: More Than Just Your Dreams

7 Do’s and Don’ts When You Lose a Job

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Here are 7 Do’s and Don’ts when you lose a job.

7 Do's and Don'ts When You Lose a Job VickiTillmanCoaching.com

7 Do’s and Don’ts When You Lose a Job

One of the joys of my work as Career Coach is helping my coachees recalibrate and launch the adventure of finding their NEW career. Here’s what I’ve found helpful for a quicker, more satisfying job-hunt journey.

The first couple of weeks after your last day at the old job are crucial. Remember these 7 Do’s and Don’ts when you lose a job:

Don’t berate yourself. There’s no time for that. If you made some serious errors, note what you need to learn, then set aside the negative self-talk. Self-blame or berating will shut your creative brain down and cause you to miss opportunities.

Do talk about losing your job as part of your journey, getting you closer to an awesome job. Keep your brain in the positive-thought zone.

Don’t dig out your old resume and cover letters and tell yourself they are good enough for career search. They were good enough for your LAST job. You will want an excellent resume to help land the NEW job!

Do jump into upgrading, tweaking, revamping, updating both the resume and a basic cover letter. Have them on your desktop ready to print on nice 24 lb paper.

Don’t sit at home watching reruns of The Walking Dead. It works against the successful job hunt to sit still- it shuts down momentum and makes it hard to start up the search.

Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Get started on your journey with the Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults.

Do get busy doing volunteer work. It is good for the soul and the community AND it fills in any blank places on the resume timeline that could occur if you were just home watching Netflix.

DO take time to recalibrate and renew your knowledge of yourself.

  • What did you gain and lose at your old job?
  • What would you like to see and do differently this time?
  • What do you really want and need to do with your life?
  • What is your personal mission?
  • What are your goals and values?

This is a good time to do some real Career Coaching. Contact me, we can work in person if you’re local OR over Skype if you are not driving distance.

Follow those 7 Do’s and Don’ts when you lose a job and you’ll find the transition to the new career goes so much better!

7 Do’s and Don’ts When You Lose a Job

What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me

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What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me.

What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me VickiTillmanCoaching.com

What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me

I’ve been talking to some retired homeschool moms lately. Those of us who are *Omega Moms* (who have graduated our youngest)- we are in a unique life transition.

We’ve dedicated our lives to raise and educate our kids. Homeschooling has been as much OUR identity as our kids’ identity.

Then the youngest graduates, goes off to college or into a career. Where are we now?

  • Some of us are already working moms, so we tweak and adapt our career.
  • Some of us are launching back into the workforce, reconstructing a resume after years of full-time motherhood.
  • Some of us will stay at home, helping the grandkids and working more in ministry.

What are some observations retired homeschool moms are making?

  • Our adult kids are defining themselves, governing themselves- even if we might run their lives differently than they are. Good thing we can stand out of the way and simply pray.
  • Our adult kids need to feel loved no matter what they do- but not rescued if they goof.
  • Our adult kids don’t need to live up to our expectations.
  • Our adult kids will never outgrow needing our availability or listening ear- but only on their terms, when they want it.
  • It may be moving-on time. Co-ops, umbrella schools, homeschool organizations may, just like our adult children, need to stretch their wings- independent of us.
  • Even if it is NOT moving-on time, it is DIFFERENT time. We become more like Titus 2 women in the Bible- the mentors for the next generation. Again, on their terms.
  • We want to be involved with something meaningful.Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults VickiTillmanCoaching.com
  • We want to have fun with our families when they can be around (and enjoy not needing to figure out how to log it in their portfolios).
  • In fact, it is VERY strange not logging hours or keeping papers for homeschool portfolios.
  • We don’t have to prove anything to anyone. YES!
  • We often want a mentor or another voice in our lives to help navigate this life transition. That’s what a life transition coach does: Acts as a guide through the adventure to the new things God is doing.
  • That’s also what a career coach does: Acts as a guide in many practical ways to help retired homeschool moms find meaningful employment.

When you’re ready to explore the next part of life’s journey contact me in the meantime, download these great resources to get you started:

A Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults

A Trail Guide to Personal Mission Statement WritingTrail Guide to Writing Your Personal Mission Statement VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Talk to you retired homeschool moms soon!

What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me