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10 Reasons Why and How You Should Practice Mindfulness

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Here are 10 reasons why and how you should practice mindfulness.

Woman writer concept. Student thinking and writing notes. Joyful happy girl sitting writing and reading outdoors on the nature.

10 Reasons Why and How You Should Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness simply put, is the practice of calming yourself. If you haven’t made a mindfulness activity part of your day, now’s the time to start. Here are 10 reasons why and how you should practice mindfulness.

Why should you practice mindfulness?Progressive Relaxation

*It’s hip. Really, so get hip and practice mindfulness.

*It’s good for your body. When you practice mindfulness your body slows down. A good mindfulness session will lower your blood pressure and may boost your immune system.

*It’s good for your mood. Mindfulness increases the activity in the part of your brain the creates positive mood. It also calms you down and increase your ability to regulate your emotions (ability to keep yourself from loosing your temper).

*It’s good for your memory and ability to learn. Mindfulness over time increases the gray matter in your brain, especially in the hippocampus region. The hippocampus is in charge of memory and learning.

*It’s good for people who have PTSD. The Veterans Administration even has a mindfulness app for PTSD.

How do you practice mindfulness?Ignatian Examen

There are many ways to practice mindfulness. The main thing to think about it when choosing mindfulness practices is: You want to find a way to calm down. Here are some suggestions:

*Deep breathing. The best way I know to practice deep breathing is Progressive Relaxation. Download the freebie how-to.

*Ignatian examen. This is a mindful examination of God’s work around you and in you. Download the freebie how-to.

*Mindful walking. Take a nice walk. Choose a place with trees. Pay attention to the sights, sounds and smells around you.

*Knitting. Knitting is actually a mindful activity.

*Coloring. Calmly coloring, noticing what you are doing without judging your work, is a great mindful activity. Download freebie Spring, Autumn, Summer, Winter mindfulness coloring pages.

That’s 10 why’s and how’s. Here’s a bonus how-to: *Keep a gratitude journal. Think calmly and hand-write things you are grateful for. It is a deeply calming activity.

There are many other mindful activities. Try some out. Give yourself 8 weeks of daily mindfulness and compare how you feel before and after. I’ll bet you are calmer, happier, and mentally sharper.

10 Reasons Why and How You Should Practice Mindfulness

Research on mindfulness for this post:

Alterations in brain and immune function produced by mindfulness meditation.

Greater Good Review of Studies on Mindfulness.

Greater Good: A Little Meditation Goes a Long Way.

VA: PTSD and Mindfulness.

3 Ways to Beat 3 Kinds of Stress

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Want help? Here are 3 ways to beat 3 kinds of stress.

3 Ways to Beat 3 Kinds of Stress

Ever thought that there might be more than one kind of stress? Surprise! There are at least 3 kinds of stress (some folks even describe more than 3).

SO much stress! What can you do about it? Here are 3 ways to beat 3 kinds of stress:

Normal Life Stress: This is what we typically think about when we describe stress. Normal life stress is simply the feeling we get when:

  • There is too much to do and too little time or too few resources
  • No one is listening to you
  • Things feel out of control

What to do about normal life stress? Here are 3 ideas:

  • Make a to-do list and then cross off all the unrealistic items.
  • Tell yourself that you can do this! (calmly and repeatedly)
  • When no one is listening, then evaluate: Does the subject need to be dropped? Am I saying things over and over; or saying them too loudly? Are my listeners simply being unkind-should I talk to someone else?
  • Change the things you can change and let go of the things you can’tProgressive Relaxation

Eustress: This is the cool kind of stress we feel when we have a LOT of cool stuff happening all at once. We feel happy but our bodies recognize eustress as any other stress. Eustress causes the formation of stress hormones- like adrenaline and cortisol (fight or flight hormones). Manage those feelings with

Anxiety: Too much stress for too long can turn into anxiety. Anxiety can become a psychological issue if it goes on too long or is too intense with worry and physical discomfort. Before it gets out of hand, try these:

  • Get some counseling. Counseling is different from coaching. Counselors help heal the pain causing the anxiety.Confidence-Building Skills for Meeting New People VickiTillmanCoaching.com
  • Get some life coaching. Life coaching helps you reduce anxiety by rediscovering who you are, what dreams God gave you to dream, and find ways to develop the tools to make those dreams happen.
  • Tackle some of your fears- like meeting new people. Download this freebie.

Life coaching and Career Coaching help you recalibrate your goals and your self-understanding. Coaching is a great stress buster. For coaching with a coach who is expert, who is experienced, who is compassionate and who believes in you contact me today!

We will work in person at Pike Creek Psychological Center, by phone or Skype.

3 Ways to Beat 3 Kinds of Stress

How Not to Lose It: 3 W’s of Composure

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Here’s how not to lose it: 3 W’s of Composure.

How Not to Lose It: 3 W's of Composure VickiTillmanCoaching.com

3 W’s of Composure

Ever noticed that every time you lose it, no one remembers WHY you lost it? They only remember that you’re the kind of person who loses it.

In fact, losing it generally gives folks permission to discount anything you had to say. That’s not good if you’re trying to:

  • Make an impact at work
  • Get a loved one to understand what you need and why
  • Sway the opinions of a committee on something important to you
  • Prevent a bully from badgering you
  • Stop an injustice

The problem with losing it is that…you lose it- your power, your influence.

You start out with good composure then the person you are dealing with does or says something or simply marginalizes your input. It’s just too hard. You start to steam. Fight or flight kicks in. So you fight or flee.

Then nothing good happens.

So how do you maintain composure?

Train yourself well on the 3 W’s.

What am I feeling? Train yourself to quickly assess what you’re feeling. That may sound irritating and slow, but think about it. When you explode, meltdown, lose it you’re not really aware of what you’re feeling. You’re simply gut reacting. Take control. Ask yourself: What am I feeling?

Why am I feeling that way? Quickly ask yourself why you’re feeling what you’re feeling. There’s a reason for what you’re feeling. No one’s listening, people are being rude, your thoughts are being discounted, you are being insulted…

What am I going to do about it? This is the important one. Make a decision. The minute you make a decision, if it is a rational decision, your neural activity switches from the fight-or-flight area of the brain to the frontal lobe of your brain. That’s the part of the brain where you are smart, strong and savvy. 

You can decide:

  • To stop talking and breathe, biding your time until you have more allies
  • To walk away
  • To stop talking until your composure returns
  • Move to Hawaii…whateverProgressive Relaxation

While it may take a while to restore calm inside, your demeanor will look more like composure. This keeps you in a place of grace and power.

Of course, the 3 W’s are difficult to manage if you are experiencing HALT. The folks from AA learned this years ago: If you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, it is darned hard to be rational.

That means whenever possible, as much as you have control over it: Don’t go into a tense situation before mealtime, when you’re already irritated, when you are feeling rejected, or you slept dismally last night.

If you don’t have control over your condition, keep breathing and keep plugging through the 3 W’s. Keep your composure!Ignatian Examen

It helps to practice mindfulness of some kind. My 2 favorite mindful activities are Progressive Relaxation and the Ignatian Examen.

When you’re ready for some coaching to help keep you in an empowered-communication place, contact me.

3 W’s of Composure

A Ring for Christmas? What Should You Do Next?

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A Ring for Christmas? What Should You Do Next?

A Ring for Christmas? What Should You Do Next? VickiTillmanCoaching.com

A Ring for Christmas? What Should You Do Next?

An engagement ring… A wedding in the upcoming year…So much to do…What should you do next?

Before you get too deep in:

  • dresses
  • venues
  • officiants
  • flowers
  • in-laws
  • wedding party
  • reception

you should get involved with THE best thing you and your fiance could do for yourselves:

Pre-Marital Coaching!

I highly recommend pre-marital coaching based on the SYMBIS Assessment with a certified SYMBIS facilitator. SYMBIS is the well-known and respected program: Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts.

Did you know that couples who get pre-marital training of some sort are 31% less likely to divorce? You will feel confident in your pre-marital training when you join the 1,000,000 couples have strengthened their future marriage through SYMBIS guidance!

Your SYMBIS Assessment includes:

  • Personality styles (How are you and your fiance alike- and different?)
  • Communication skills (How well do you two handle good times and bad?)
  • Financial styles (Who is a spender? Who is a saver? How do you make it work?)
  • Practical skills (Who does what chores and when?)
  • Interests (What will be your couple identity?)
  • Expectations (What do you expect from your spouse- especially for intimacy?)
  • And MORE!

After you and your fiance complete your SYMBIS Assessment, the SYMBIS people will compile a beautiful, in-depth report. You two along with your SYMBIS coach will work through your results, empowering you and your fiance to:

  • Enhance your individual strengths and become a synergistic couple
  • Be aware of your weaknesses and develop healthy plans to overcome them

I am a trained SYMBIS facilitator. I am excited to serve you as your SYMBIS pre-marital coach!

Getting a ring for Christmas? Here’s what to do next:

  • Contact me today! I’ll send you an invitation to take your SYMBIS Assessment. Then we’ll get busy (via Skype or in person) saving your marriage before it starts!

A Ring for Christmas? What Should You Do Next?

Healthy Lifestyles Need Traditions: How to do Advent Wreath

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Healthy lifestyles need traditions: how to do Advent Wreath.

Healthy Lifestyles Need Traditions: How to do Advent Wreath VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Healthy Lifestyles Need Traditions: How to do Advent Wreath

Humans who are unattached to traditions feel rootless. When people feel rootless they often attach to stuff. I wonder if our rootlessness is one cause of our rampant American consumerism?

The wonderful thing about traditions is that you can choose them. Christmas is a great time for choosing traditions for you and your loved ones. As you implement a Christmas tradition or two, you may note that you get the feeling of some rootedness- even if the traditions you chose were not from your family of origin.

One meaningful Christmas tradition is the Advent Wreath. The Advent Wreath is used by many Christian groups to help bring focus to the true meaning and story of Christmas.

There are many ways to do the Advent Wreath. This is the way our family does the Advent Wreath. Feel free to give it a try and adapt it to make your own traditions. (These instructions are adapted from a post I did for 7SistersHomeschool.com.)

Making the Advent WreathHow to Make Advent Wreath VickiTillmanCoaching.com

We make our Advent Wreath with 5 candles- 4 red and 1 white. We place the red candles in a circle with the white candle centered in their midst. (The wreath in the picture here has purple and pink candles around the outside instead of red because there are many ways to do Advent Wreath.)

On the first Sunday after Thanksgiving, we light the first red candle, read the scripture passage that goes with the candle, discuss the passage (if we feel like it), and sing Christmas Hymns.

Each Sunday after that, we light a new red candle (plus the previously lit ones), read that week’s Scriptures and sing Christmas hymns. On Christmas Eve the white candle is lit along with all the red ones.

The lovely thing about this tradition is that our children learned the true meaning of Christmas in their earliest childhood. Most of my adult kids have continued this tradition in their own families.

Week 1: The Prophesy Candle

Messianic Prophesies: Isaiah 7:14, Isaiah 9:6, Micah 5:2

Week 2: The Angel Candle

The Annunciation: Luke 1:26-38

Advent Wreath VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Week 3: The Shepherd Candle

The Celebration: Luke 2: 1-20

 

Week 4: The Wise Men Candle

The Gift-Giving: Matthew 2:1-12

 

Christmas Eve: The Christmas Story   

Read Luke 2:1-20 again                                                                                      

 

Some favorite hymns (don’t rigidly keep the hymn to its suggested week):

Week 1:

  • Good Christian Men, Rejoice
  • Hail, Thou Long-Expected Jesus
  • Joy to the World
  • Oh Come, All Ye Faithful
  • Oh Come, Oh Come, Emmanuel

Week 2:Another Advent Wreath VickiTillmanCoaching.com

  • Thou Didst Leave Thy Throne
  • In the Bleak Midwinter
  • Once in Royal David’s City


Week 3:

  • Thou Didst Leave Thy Throne
  • Angels From the Realms of Glory
  • Angels We Have Heard on High
  • Hark, the Herald Angels Sing
  • It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
  • The First Noel the Angel Did Say
  • While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks by Night

Week 4:

  • Away in a Manger
  • Go Tell It on the Mountain

  • O Holy Night
  • O Little Town of Bethlehem
  • On a Bleak Mid-Winter
  • Once in Royal David’s City
  • Silent Night
  • There’s a Song in the Air
  • What Child is This?lightstock_267844_small_user_5486718

Christmas Eve

  • All the Christmas hymns

Are you missing tradition in your life? Are you missing something and you just don’t know what it is?

Maybe it is time for some Life Coaching. This is a new tradition for a healthy lifestyle. Contact me for coaching via Skype or at my office if you are local.

Healthy Lifestyles Need Traditions: How to do Advent Wreath