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5 Reasons Couples Need Pre-Marital Coaching
Here are 5 reasons couples need pre-marital coaching:
5 Reasons Couples Need Pre-Marital Coaching
I can’t say it often enough. Couples should do pre-marital coaching (counseling, mentoring, whatever you want to call it). Here are 5 reasons why:
*As a couple you are awesome (most of the time). Pre-marital coaching helps couples understand and lean into the things that will make the marriage strong: personality similarities and/or emotional health, agreement in finances, similar goals, similar faith ideas.
*But sometimes you two are headed for stress…Pre-marital coaching helps couples talk through tough topics like spending/saving differences, parenting, sex, and who-does-what chores. Believe it or not, these little subjects are big problem-producers in marriage.
*There’s no escape the in-laws. Pre-marital coaching helps your face the impact (for good or ill) that your family of origin has had on you. AND will continue to have on you and your spouse. Together you will make a solid plan for dealing with the in-laws.
*No matter how well you think you know each other, you don’t. In pre-marital coaching, you have a chance to uncover potential stress points in life, face them, and decide how to work on them before you are “trapped”. With your coach present, it is easier to talk things through and make a plan.
*Pre-marital coaching is cheaper than divorce. Couples who have pre-marital training are 31% less likely to divorce. That’s good!
SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) is one of the most successful pre-marital assessment and training programs. For more information, check out their website. Then when you’re ready for your SYMBIS assessment and coaching, contact me here (or contact my colleague Gretchen Mahoney and me at Pike Creek Psychological Center 302-738-6859).
5 Reasons Couples Need Pre-Marital Coaching
Leave a Trail
Leave a trail
Every Moment is a Moment of Grace
Every Moment is a Moment of Grace
Hope Summons the Future
Hope Summons the Future
20-Something World Implosion: How to Un-implode!
What is 20-something world implosion? How to un-implode it?
20-Something World Implosion: How to Un-implode!
20-Somethings are some of my favorite coachees. Here’s something I’ve noticed with many of you:
Your world implodes in the 2 years after college!
What is *world implosion*?
When you’re in college there’s a lot of life happening organically. You naturally know people from classes, dorms, organizations and activities. You develop GREAT friendships. Often, you find a significant other. And you really didn’t have to work that hard at making these relationships. They happen because of proximity: you are simply around each other. Proximity gives you a world, a life!
Then graduation happens… and people get real jobs, real careers, in really far-away places. Very often the wonderful peer-group of college days spreads out all over America.
What happens next is you are going to work, coming home, maybe stopping at the gym on the way home. Then the next day you are going to work, coming home, maybe stopping at the gym on the way home.
Before you know it, it feels like you DON’T have a world, and WHAT’S a life?
Sound familiar? Well then: 20-Something world implosion…how to un-implode?
Here are 3 steps to un-implode your world:
- Get out of denial. You aren’t going to get a life the way you got a life in college. Life usually doesn’t happen like that once you’re in the workforce.
- Face the need to get busy. I know you’re tired, but you’re going to have to get busy anyway- doing NEW things.
- Start exploring. Find a new thing to do each week. Look online. Local online news sources or meet-ups often list open activities of community organizations. Find a group that is doing something interesting or useful (running or hiking groups, book clubs, Habitat for Humanity, churches- things like that). Plan on visiting 2 groups a month until you find your thing(s).
- Visit the first time, use your social skills. Download the FREEBIE Confidence-Building Skills for Meeting New People for tips on breaking into a new group. Remember, when you’re the newbie in a group, the group has to prove itself to you (*Are they friendly?*) not you proving yourself to the group (NOT: *Are you interesting?*).
- Keep exploring. Eventually you will land on a group that is so much fun and so friendly that you’ll keep going back. Those people will become your new peer group.
- As you keep the adventure going, your world will become bigger– not in the same way it happened in college. When you’re 20-Something world un-implosion won’t really be organic; it must be intentional!
One thing that really helps when you’re un-imploding your world is to know yourself well and feel comfortable with who you are. The best way to do this is to work with a life transition coach. Contact me today to get started on the adventure of un-imploding your world!
20-Something World Implosion: How to Un-implode!
Inspiration is Everywhere…
Inspiration is Everywhere…
You Can Start Late…
You Can Start Late…
Healthy Guide to Finding a Lifelong Relationship
Ready to start the adventure of finding a partner? Here’s a healthy guide to finding a lifelong relationship.
Healthy Guide to Finding a Lifelong Relationship
One of my favorite things is coaching people when they are ready for the life transition from being single to finding a lifelong relationship. Whether a person is 25 or 52 the journey is similar- IF you want to be a healthy person finding a healthy relationship!
Here’s the things my coachees have sometimes learned the hard way:
- You won’t find that healthy person at the bars.
- You won’t find that healthy person constantly gaming online.
- You won’t find that healthy person already married to someone else. (Think about that one: You’re about to get involved with someone who isn’t able to remain faithful to relationships. Is that what you want?)
Here is a healthy guide to finding a lifelong relationship.
*Make an “absolute-musts” list. (Write down and memorize 5-10 must-haves in a person you’d be willing to spend your life with. If you don’t know what you need you’ll end up with someone who is not what you need.)
*Make a “no-chihuahua” rule for yourself. (Chihuahua’s are the people who rush in, bounce around in your face, giving and demanding attention but being SO charming and ubiquitous that you can’t see anyone else. The minute you marry a chihuahua, they know they have you- so they sit back and say “take care of me!”…and your life becomes awful!)
*Get involved. (Like I said, the person of your dreams is not at the bar and not gaming with every free minute. Healthy people are involved in the community. They volunteer, they are in interest groups, they are involved in church, are living life connected with people. AND they are looking for people who are involved and connected!)
*Don’t worry about making a good impression. (Put your efforts into using your listening and learning skills. If you show you are attentive and interested in the other person, you will be more impressive than if you were trying to be impressive. Does that make sense?)
*Loose the co-dependency. (If you need to rescue, fix or control, you’re going to create a disaster. This is a good time to work on life transitions coaching to help you develop healthy relationship skills.)
*Love yourself. (People are able to love you as much as you love yourself. No human can fill the void created by self-hatred.)
*Remove your walls. (How have you walled yourself off? Snarky conversation? Angry non-verbals- got a “resting bitch-face”? Significantly overweight? Addictions? Is it time for some coaching or counseling?)
*Start your journey by getting to know yourself again. Download the Trail Guide to Writing a Personal Mission Statement. Then contact me and we’ll get busy doing some enlightening, inspirational coaching to get your ready for a lifelong relationship.