Blog
Failure is an event not a person
We are what we believe we are
What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me
What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me.
What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me
I’ve been talking to some retired homeschool moms lately. Those of us who are *Omega Moms* (who have graduated our youngest)- we are in a unique life transition.
We’ve dedicated our lives to raise and educate our kids. Homeschooling has been as much OUR identity as our kids’ identity.
Then the youngest graduates, goes off to college or into a career. Where are we now?
- Some of us are already working moms, so we tweak and adapt our career.
- Some of us are launching back into the workforce, reconstructing a resume after years of full-time motherhood.
- Some of us will stay at home, helping the grandkids and working more in ministry.
What are some observations retired homeschool moms are making?
- Our adult kids are defining themselves, governing themselves- even if we might run their lives differently than they are. Good thing we can stand out of the way and simply pray.
- Our adult kids need to feel loved no matter what they do- but not rescued if they goof.
- Our adult kids don’t need to live up to our expectations.
- Our adult kids will never outgrow needing our availability or listening ear- but only on their terms, when they want it.
- It may be moving-on time. Co-ops, umbrella schools, homeschool organizations may, just like our adult children, need to stretch their wings- independent of us.
- Even if it is NOT moving-on time, it is DIFFERENT time. We become more like Titus 2 women in the Bible- the mentors for the next generation. Again, on their terms.
- We want to be involved with something meaningful.
- We want to have fun with our families when they can be around (and enjoy not needing to figure out how to log it in their portfolios).
- In fact, it is VERY strange not logging hours or keeping papers for homeschool portfolios.
- We don’t have to prove anything to anyone. YES!
- We often want a mentor or another voice in our lives to help navigate this life transition. That’s what a life transition coach does: Acts as a guide through the adventure to the new things God is doing.
- That’s also what a career coach does: Acts as a guide in many practical ways to help retired homeschool moms find meaningful employment.
When you’re ready to explore the next part of life’s journey contact me in the meantime, download these great resources to get you started:
A Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults
A Trail Guide to Personal Mission Statement Writing
Talk to you retired homeschool moms soon!
What Retired Homeschool Moms Tell Me
Before-College to At-College Transition: 10 Look-Like-a-Senior Skills
Before-College to At-College Transition: 10 Look-Like-a-Senior Skills
Before-College to At-College Transition: 10 Look-Like-a-Senior Skills
This is move-in week for thousands of college freshmen around the country. It is also a fun time for us life coaches because we have the honor of boosting the confidence of students who are in the Before-College to At-College Transition. Here are 10 *look-like-a-senior skills* that I share with my freshmen coachees:
*Write down your goals and attach it to your closet door or something you’ll see every week. If you don’t write it and read it, you’ll forget it: Why are you in college? At THAT college? In THAT major?
*Download the freebie Meeting New People: Review it. These are skills you’ll need for the rest of your life.
*Leave your dorm room door open if you’re in the room. Easiest way in the world to make friends.
*If there’s a dorm or academic department activity do it (use your skills from Meeting New People). May sound stupid or boring- that’s not the point. The point is to network, meet people, make connections.
*Join a campus organization or activity during the first week at school. If you have an interest area, it is usually easy to find a group. If you don’t have an interest area, randomly pick some out until you find one that fits your personality. Again, the point is networking, meeting people, making connections.
*Make a class/study schedule (start out with planning 2 hours of study for each hour in class). For the first 2 weeks follow it, then you can adjust.
*Visit your professors during office hours (find something to ask or just tell them your mentor said to visit). This will benefit you in a gazillion ways. The teacher will know you give a flip. Opportunities might come your way.
*Volunteer in the departmental office. Just tell one of your profs or the departmental admin that you’d love to be a help: take out the trash, run errands, participate in research.
*Sit in the T-zone in class (first 2 or 3 rows or right down the middle). Believe me, it works.
*Take handwritten notes in class. There’s good research on the usefulness of handwritten classnotes for academic success.
*Type up your notes. I’ve heard this from students over the years. After class, type up your notes. It helps your brain digest and remember the information.
For more help with the Before-College to At-College Transition, contact me today!
Before-College to At-College Transition: 10 Look-Like-a-Senior Skills
Anything worth doing starts with being scared
College Freshmen Leaving for College: How a Parent Can Help
College Freshmen Leaving for College: How a Parent Can Help
College Freshmen Leaving for College: How a Parent Can Help
It’s tough for parents dropping that first kid off at college. It’s even tougher the when we drop that second kid at their dorm- because we remember how hard it was leaving that first kid on their own!
This is one of the crucial times in parents’ lives! We have to let our kids grow up…and we have to let go…AND we still have to be available. How, how, how can we do it?
Here are 9 tips I’ve learned as a mom and a coach about college freshmen leaving for college: how a parent can help.
3 tips for discussions with our freshmen before leaving for college:
- Discuss their goals. Your young persons might forget they can’t succeed without goals. Without goals any human will loose time and motivation and be easily sidetracked.
- Discuss your expectations. If you are paying for college, you have a voice (but not control).
- Pray.
3 tips for dropping college freshmen off at the dorm:
- Accompany them to their dorm room, help carry their stuff in, act excited about how cool it will look when they get everything arranged.
- Leave…as in, go home. Don’t linger, try not to cry, don’t make a fuss. You want to leave your freshmen feeling like you have all the confidence in the world in them.
- Get in the car and cry all the way home if you want. THAT’S okay…then PRAY.
3 tips for handling your college freshmen’s first semester:
- Don’t call them every day. Really. Don’t. Give them space to grow. If you are their best friend, they might not make new ones- which isn’t cool.
- Don’t be a helicopter parent. Be available if they have questions but don’t do their work or their advocating for them. This is hard because you could handle their glitches or concerns so much more quickly and efficiently…but then your freshman is robbed of the chance to learn vital life skills.
- Let them make their own mistakes…unless you suspect self-harm, addiction, complete lostness. Then you step in and help them connect to resources and safety. Otherwise, some stupid mistakes make unforgettable learning experiences. (The only way to handle this tip is to place your freshmen in God’s care, in other words: PRAY.)
It actually does take a lot of prayer (and support) to let your teens become a fully-alive college freshmen! It’s worth the investment. Walk through this life transition with support: contact me at VickiTillmanCoaching.com.