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Why Your Life Feels Miserable Right Now

June 27, 2016 by Vicki Tillman Leave a Comment

Sometimes life sucks. Maybe one of these is why your life feels miserable right now?

Why Your Life Feels Miserable Right Now VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Why Your Life Feels Miserable Right Now

Does your life feel miserable right now? That feeling is there to tell you something’s wrong. Some things need to be fixed or some things simply must be survived (but not survived alone).

Here are 7 things that may be going wrong if your life is feeling miserable right now:

1- Too much bad stuff going on right now. I’m not trivializing pain here. Sometimes a person feels miserable because of grief, illness, pain or loss. Those things are real and cannot be ignored. If your life feels miserable because too much bad stuff is going on let your friends know; let your church know.

Talk about what is going on- don’t bear it alone! Find someone to pray with you daily. If friends want to know how to help, here’s a freebie my friend, Marilyn Groop, wrote that shares practical ideas. Sometimes having a counselor to talk to helps, too (that’s because there is power in talking to someone from outside your circle of friends and family.)Progressive Relaxation VickiTillmanCoaching.com

2- Too much stress going on right now. Sometimes you feel miserable because there are too many stressful things going on: taxes, bills, car repairs, cranky colleagues, overtime at work. Maybe you’re overbooked because you can’t say, “NO!” Maybe you’re stretched too thin because it’s a phase of life that just happens (like motherhood…).

Ask yourself: What can I control and reduce right now? Do a time audit to help you think about it. Take a financial literacy course.

Or ask yourself: What must I simply ride out? Increase your self-care to give you strength (learn Progressive Relaxation or Ignatian Examen to help feel more calm).

3- Too much forced change going on right now. Sometimes you feel miserable when there is forced change. Job losses, moves, family changes…even graduations can feel miserable a few days later when you realize that life will be forever different. You didn’t ask for this stuff!Progressive Relaxation VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Forced change is a journey you must go through. As Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Life Transitions Coaching helps turn the trial into an adventure.

4- Too much self-centeredness going on right now. One thing I’ve learned over the years as a coach and a counselor is that people cannot be happy if personal happiness is all they want. “I just want to be happy!” is usually code for “I just want to have a bunch of stuff, lots of leisure and everyone to do things my way!” But when folks who say that get what they think they need for happiness, they find out they are still miserable.

What you need to be happy is to do good deeds! Research shows that doing good deeds or acts of kindness actually increase a person’s feeling of happiness. 

Confused? That’s ok. The adventure of giving into others is inside you and Life Transition Coaching will help you launch on your journey to true happiness.Trail Guide to Writing Your Personal Mission Statement VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Start by shaking up your self-centeredness with a journey of exploring your own Personal Mission Statement.

5- Too many toxic people going on right now. Sometimes people in your life change. They used to be kind but then they become bitter or critical. Maybe they are going through tough stuff and they handle it poorly, maybe it’s PMS. Whatever the reason, long-term toxicity isn’t cool.

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do with a toxic person is set some distance between you two and work on your own health. Here again, Life Transition Coaching is there to help you on the journey towards personal health.

6- Too much time stuck in the wrong SEAT of the bus going on right now. Sometimes you feel miserable if you are in the wrong job. Jim Collins in Good to Great, challenges people to find the right “seat on the bus”- get in the best fit career for you. That’s what Career Coaching is all about: helping you find the right seat on the bus!Trail Guide to Career Exploration for Adults VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Get started on your new adventure with a quick personal journey of Career Exploration with this workbook.

7- Too much time stuck on the wrong BUS going on right now. Sometimes you feel miserable if you are working with the wrong corporation. Is your organization full of unethical, unkind people going an unhealthy direction?

Sometimes the only happy, healthy thing to do is hop off this bus and get back on track with a good bus going the right direction. That’s what Career Coaching is all about. Let’s take that great career, seek God’s direction and take the adventure of finding a better bus!

Life sometimes sucks, but there is support, encouragement, strength, too. Take good care of yourself and contact me when it is time for some coaching support.

Why Your Life Feels Miserable Right Now

Filed Under: Life transitions, Self-discovery, Self-knowledge Tagged With: Life transitions, why life is miserable

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It does not matter how great the pressure is

June 19, 2016 by Vicki Tillman Leave a Comment

It does not matter how great the pressure is…

It doesn't matter how great the pressure is VickiTillmanCoaching.com

When pressure is telling you that God is working a change in your life, contact me for life coaching.

It does not matter how great the pressure is…

Filed Under: Life transitions, Self-knowledge Tagged With: Life transitions, Self-knowledge

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Do Not Let Small Things Crowd Great

June 18, 2016 by Vicki Tillman Leave a Comment

Do Not Let Small Things Crowd Great

 

Don't let small things crowd great VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Life coaching helps get you discover priorities and clarify focus. Contact me to get started.

Do Not Let Small Things Crowd Great

Filed Under: Self-knowledge Tagged With: Self-knowledge

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Discover Yourself and Stay True to Yourself

June 17, 2016 by Vicki Tillman Leave a Comment

Discover Yourself and Stay True to Yourself

Discover Yourself and Stay True to Yourself VickiTillmanCoaching.com

 

 

 

Discover Yourself and Stay True to Yourself

Filed Under: Self-discovery Tagged With: Self-discovery

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When Something’s Gotta Change

June 16, 2016 by Vicki Tillman Leave a Comment

What do you do when something’s gotta change?

When Something's Gotta Change VickiTillmanCoaching.com

When Something’s Gotta Change

Ever wake up and know something’s gotta change? You’ve had enough of what’s going on. This is not the life you signed up for!

It is wise to listen to your heart. Is that something’s-gotta-change feeling the prompting of God to prepare for new things? Is it time for a new adventure?

If so, spend some time taking stock so that you are ready to launch when the moment arrives:

  • Take a fresh look at who you are. Revisit a personality test like Myers-Briggs or StrengthsFinder 2.0.
  • Review your experiences in work, family, friends and faith. What were pivotal moments and people?
  • Write a fresh mission statement.
  • Get some coaching. That’s what I’m here for- to help guide you through the journey of transition and help you hone your skills for the new adventures to come. We will work together to help you discover your who you were meant to be, dream big dreams, and develop skills to help those dreams come true.

It is also wise to listen with your head. Your heart may be saying: Something’s gotta change!!! But your logical brain is saying that there is no way for that to happen yet. If that is so:

  • Use this time to pray. Ask God, is this a time that I must simply go through (God’s version of character development or waiting).
  • Also gently work through the above steps so that you are ready when the time is right.

Coaching is a fruitful way to navigate any life transition period. Contact me today to get prepared for your journey.

When Something’s Gotta Change

Filed Under: Career Choice, Life transitions Tagged With: Change, Life transitions

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Rules of Self-Discovery

June 6, 2016 by Vicki Tillman Leave a Comment

Rules of Self-DiscoveryRules of Self-Discovery VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Filed Under: Life transitions, Self-discovery Tagged With: Life transitions, Self-discovery

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You Are Never Too Old to Set Another Goal or Dream…

June 3, 2016 by Vicki Tillman Leave a Comment

You are never too old

You are never to old to dream VickiTillmanCoaching.com

When you’re ready to set a new goal or dream a new dream. Contact me at VickiTillmanCoaching.com. We can work together to fulfill your goals and dreams.

You are never too old VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Filed Under: Life transitions Tagged With: Life transitions, Never too old

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Humility is Thinking about Yourself Less

June 2, 2016 by Vicki Tillman 2 Comments

Humility is Thinking about Yourself Less

Humility is thinking of yourself less VickiTillmanCoaching.com

When you are ready for the journey of humble self-discovery, ready to truly know yourself and where you should be headed, contact me at VickiTillmanCoaching.com.

Humility is Thinking about Yourself Less

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: C.S. Lewis quote, Life transitions, Self-discovery

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We Must be Hatched

June 1, 2016 by Vicki Tillman Leave a Comment

We must be hatched.

We must be hatched or go bad VickiTillmanCoaching.com

When you are ready to fulfill your destiny, contact me at VickiTillmanCoaching.com

We must be hatched VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Filed Under: Self-discovery Tagged With: C.S. Lewis quote, Self-discovery

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10 Rules for Being an Awesome Mother of the Bride

May 30, 2016 by Vicki Tillman 2 Comments

10 Rules for Being an Awesome Mother of the Bride

10 Rules for Being an Awesome Mother of the Bride VickiTillmanCoaching.com

10 Rules for Being an Awesome Mother of the Bride

There’s nothing quite like being the mother of the bride! In my years as a coach and counselor, I’ve heard stories of Momzillas and stories of Mom Heroes. I only have one daughter, so when she married a couple of years ago, I was determined to be more Mom Hero than Momzilla.

Here are 10 rules I learned about being a likable mother of the bride:

1. Be Nice

Be nice, be nice, be nice.

Weddings can be high stress, even if it is positive high stress. Weddings and wedding planning is the best place for learning to manage yourself well. A little fruit of the spirit is needed, so pray a lot. When you need some extra debriefing and support, it’s time to get some coaching. Contact me.

2. It is your daughter’s wedding

Not yours. Let her and her fiancé make decisions about the wedding– even if they want to do something pretty stupid. Fortunately for me, my kids were pretty low key and smart. In fact, I really wasn’t tempted to try to make any of their decisions. My daughter bounced LOTS of ideas off me, but I did my best to be quiet and let her decide. It was fun to watch her choose colors, flowers, announcements, etc.

I’ve heard stories about wedding plans that seemed ridiculous, but when the mother of the bride allowed the bride and groom to *make mistakes* things turned out okay. It is best to back off and be a support.

3. Keep financial boundaries

Some brides forget the budget. If you’re paying it’s fine to say, “I can’t go over our agreed upon amount” and stick to it. My daughter was very good with the budget. There were some extras that she wanted so she and her fiancé footed that bill.

4. Make up your mind to have fun

Weddings are fun. Wedding planning is fun. But only if you make up your mind to have fun. So have fun! Fun, fun, fun!!

5. Treat your son-in-law with respect and friendliness

You’re investing in the future. Throughout the planning and on the wedding day, be sure to be courteous to him. Be friendly.

Think about it. Do you want to be so stubborn or sharp that you leave him with a bad memory of you? Do you want them to think of ways to avoid you when the grandkids come along? Invest in the relationship now.

Fortunately for me, my daughter married a terrific guy who took no effort at all to be friendly with but I’ve heard some mothers of the bride fuss that their son-in-law was *stealing her from us* or *not good enough for her*. Useless frame of mind that makes the future family relationships more difficult.

6. Special moments are good Ignatian Examen How-to VickiTillmanCoaching.com

The day before my daughter’s wedding, a friend bought a manicure party for the bride, bridesmaids, the new mom-in-law, my friend and myself. It was a special bonding time. Even if you don’t have a friend who likes to bless you with special events, it is a good idea to think of something easy and fun to do with the group of ladies involved with the wedding.

7. Food is always needed

There are so many times during the wedding process that food will be needed. You can be a real blessing if you show up with thoughtful snacks to dress fittings, decoration-preparation days, and getting-dressed-for-the-wedding morning.

Progressive Relaxation VickiTillmanCoaching.com8. Weddings will have glitches, handle with grace and invention

We got off easy- the worst that happened on the wedding day (I think), is that the dads’ boutonnieres were lost in someone’s shuffle. We improvised with some flowers out of the flower girl’s bouquet. But I have known outdoor weddings blown around by thunderstorms, receptions with the food orders missing, ring bearers who won’t advance down the aisle…

The point is: Shake your fist at the chaos (not each other) and make good things happen for the bride and groom.

9. Weddings will have crashers, plan extras

No matter how carefully you make your guest list, someone will show up uninvited. Keep the boundaries you can and find serenity with the boundaries you can’t keep. If you have extra everything, you can relax.

10. After the wedding: your house will be a mess Summer Mindfulness Coloring Pages VickiTillmanCoaching.com

Imagine, days of preparation for the wedding, a long wedding day- then you come home with all the leftover wedding paraphernalia and gifts. It took two weeks for me to get the house under control after the wedding. It is a good time to take it slow and include some extra self-care. Do some mindfulness: download a freebie like Progressive Relaxation How-to, or Ignatian Examen How-to, or Summer Mindfulness Coloring Pages.

One of my favorite types of coaching is the supportive coaching I get to share with mothers of the bride. Contact me when it is your turn for that wonderful job!

May all your kids’ weddings be blessed events. May your blood pressure stay healthy while you have fun!

10 Rules for Being an Awesome Mother of the Bride

Filed Under: Life transitions, Mother of the Bride Tagged With: Life transitions, Mother of the Bride

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Testimonial

  • Career Exploration was a tremendously empowering experience for my teens and young adults. Three of my children worked through Vicki Tillman’s Career Exploration Workbook while they were high school students and learned so much about what types of steps they were best suited to take following graduation. My older son had missed out on the course as a teen and went back to use the workbook as a twenty-something when faced with the need for a job change; he was delighted with the direction he found after working through the exercises. I cannot recommend this resource too highly! Every teen and young adult will find greater understanding of their unique gifts and interests and how those qualities can influence career choices for a fulfilling future in the work world.

    - SJ

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